Let it all work out

On Ebere Eze.

“Can’t cradle fear no more,” Sampha writes on his 2013 song Indecision. “Bear the shame of the incision / All lain across the floor.”

The song has become the anthem to Eberechi Eze’s triumphant return to the club of his (and our) heart. Arsenal’s storytellers are obviously plugged into the online zeitgeist and there was a danger of this feeling trite or contrived; instead it feels triumphant, fitting, and like a natural coda to the song’s online popularity. Indecision has become a calling card for these kind of stories on social media. “Let it all work out,” repeated to humming piano chords, with montages of young men making their dreams come true - it’s undeniable. It’s an anthem that’s been taken at face value, a triumphant ode to God’s plan.

With Eze, Arsenal have claimed it. It was the right story at the right time; now it will feel contrived, if another club were to follow suit. It’s hard to argue it fits anything less than beautifully. The lauded announcement video is deeply moving. When Eze took to the pitch at the Emirates on Saturday, the club played Indecision over the loudspeaker. Eze smiles that infectious grin as he recognises the chords and points to the sky, a young man who can’t believe it all worked out. Rejected by Arsenal, returned to Arsenal. He was on trial, he says, for four years - every touch he took against the club held the intent to prove both their mistake and his willingness to forgive. Watch me, now. Look how far I’ve come.

So the story is intoxicating. It’s also, as everything on social media is, flattened. Indecision is not just an ode to the triumphant. It’s an anthem about taking the chance in the first place.

“Your heart pounds with precision,” Sampha writes. “A king dies inside his courts / Your heart pounds with precision / A king dies inside these doors.”

The prevailing theme of Dead Poets Society is carpe diem. “Seize the day, boys,” Robin Williams tells his students, as the magnetic Mr Keating. “Make your lives extraordinary.” If you’ve seen the film, you’ll know the message is mixed. Carpe diem does not mean that victory lies around every corner, if you’re only brave and determined enough to chase it. Those imposters, triumph and disaster, often wear the same masks.

Indecision argues it’s better to meet them both the same. If you build a kingly court of tongue indecision, you’ll die inside those walls. “Mistakes of your broke vision / It’s harder to let them go.”

Eze made it home. He is the anomaly; that’s what makes the story so special. But his path is littered with the broken visions of thousands. For every Eberechi Eze there are hundreds of nameless men and women who are now teachers, coaches, tradespeople, railway workers, whatever. People who seized the day and pushed for professional football and didn’t make it. Stories that ended in tragedy or smaller but no less beautiful triumphs. Indecision is as much about them as it is Eze.

I’m not pointing this out to diminish the aching glory of Eze’s story. In fact I think it makes it stronger. He couldn’t call his wife when he signed for Arsenal because she was caring for patients in the ICU. Without wanting to engage in weird parasocialism, it’s striking that such a person is dedicated to one of the most demanding and painful jobs in the country. It speaks to who she is, who Eze is, who his family are. It speaks to me of the untold weight of carpe diem that holds everything together, everywhere, every day. And it speaks to me of the stories we choose to tell, and how.

To re-imagine a quote from Dead Poets Society:

“We don’t love football because it’s cute. We love football because we are members of the human race. And the human race is full of passion.

“[…] That you are here - that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse. That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse. What will your verse be?”

Eze has written his, and it is beautiful. But it is not beautiful because he won; it’s beautiful because he opened the door. He did not die inside his court. And all those who did the same and fell at a hurdle, well - those silent verses are beautiful, too.

I guess I am writing this because life has been painful recently. I’ve taken chances and they’ve hurt. But I am glad I took them, and I am determined to take more. And I worry the message of Indecision is being warped into a story about the inevitability of triumph. No. Bear the shame of the incision; open yourself to the pain; contribute a verse. Triumph might not be for all of us. Writing a verse is our birthright.

“Laugh and leave with what you know / But the pain won’t subside at all /

“Let it all work out.”

I’ll be writing bits and pieces about Arsenal, England, and other football stories this season. Subscribe if you’d like to read them.